To Baby Ick on Your 2nd Birthday

Birthday Boy!

My dear, sweet boy, you turned 2 today. You’ve only been alive for 730 days, but have accomplished much, most notably my unconditional love and annoyance. You have proven to have such an awesome personality and amazing intellect.

You prefer to say words like adorable, triangle, alphabet and elephant instead of dog, cat, tree or Mama. You’re discovering the world around you and ooze enthusiasm. You saw a fan? No doubt I will hear about for the next 15 minutes. You got a boo-boo a week ago? Every time you see the scab on your knee, you mention it, point to it, tell me what it is and follow it up with, “I fall.” You’ve even learned to reprimand others when they do something you’ve been told not to do. Earlier this week Jeremy, Shaggy’s 6 year old son, was standing on my bed. You pointed to him and said, “Fall!” Yes, he will fall if he keeps standing on the bed. Yes, I had him sit down so he wouldn’t fall. You even scold yourself sometimes when you throw your toys. We can work on thinking of that before you throw them.

And the shrieking? Yeah, I’m over that. Please stop it just as soon as you realize it pisses everybody off. Me, NaNa, Uncle David, George, the folks in the 37^th St Cemetery*, and everyone in the grocery store. Even the folks sitting in their cars in the parking lot. Yeah they can hear you, too, you little banshee! *There isn’t a 37^th St Cemetery around here as far as I know, but you get my drift.

When you were in your “in-between” stage, no longer an infant but not quite a toddler, I lamented your lack of affection. There were no hugs, no snuggles, no kisses except at bed time. Now you are constantly saying, “Hold you!” It has got to be in the Top 3 Adorable Things You Say. You will snuggle up in my lap, rest your head on my shoulder and inform me that you are giving me hugs.

You received two different laptops for your birthday, a Fisher Price and a Leapster. I’m slightly disappointed that you prefer the babyish Fisher Price, but I understand the lights attract you more than the darker Leapster screen (even if it does say your name!). Gram also sent a wooden letters and numbers toy with blocks on it that spin, sort of like an abacus (which you can also say and have on several occasions). She said she wanted “old technology and new technology” in the form of toys and thought of how differently you could learn from them and I absolutely love it! You love anything that spins, so this is a major hit with you. You’ve also blown my mind with how many pictures on it that you can name.

I’ve heard you count to ten, watched you tease NaNa by handing her a cup then taking it back when she’s almost got it. I’ve seen you kiss the dog but tell me, “Oh, gross,” when I cough. You’ve even almost got the hang of saying the word of whatever it is you want instead of whining. That’s been a tough thing for you to learn but you are doing such a good job!

In an older blog post I talked about my anxiety about your mental development. I really should learn to listen to the experts (namely, your pediatricians) when they tell me that babies usually have a trade-off: When they are growing physically, mental growth takes a back seat and vice versa. Now you want me to read many little board books in a row and you’ll even point to things and name them. It’s so wonderful to hear you name something new! Even more amazing when I’ve never taught you the word. Just more proof you listen even when you’re pretending not to. You’ll watch an entire episode of a kids’ show and the better part of a movie (especially if it’s Disney’s “Cars”). You love to color, or as you say, “Cudders!” In addition to these wonderful mental developments, you’re a whopping 29lbs, 34in (or so, can’t exactly remember).

The day before your birthday I took you for your 3^rd haircut ever. You screamed and cried, “Hold you! Hold you, Mama!” I laughed and told you that you were fine while my heart broke a little. The wonderful hairstylist talked to you, tried to get you to laugh and not once lost patience with you. Trust me; she deserved that $5 tip! However, you look so much like a little boy and not a baby that it makes me a little heart sick thinking about it. Watching your facial expressions under that shortened ‘do give me a glimpse at what a handsome young man you’re going to be. That minor chin-butt is going to help, too, believe me. Girls really dig those.

While your exuberance and education delight me, they make me sad as well. Watching you grow from newborn to infant to toddler was hard enough. Take your time as you grow into a little boy, okay? I’ll need those wet, smooshy toddler kisses a little longer.

Almost... Got it...

HomeHer11: Acceptance At Last

Note of warning: I imbedded a lot of links. I hope you'll click on them as they lead to wonderful blogs and their amazing authors. I hope you enjoy the videos as much as I did! I did, however, refrain myself from linking everyone's Twitter account to their usernames. You'll just have to find them yourself!
 

Just over a year ago, I joined Twitter with the name @MamaPoodle. Just for fun, just to see who would follow me and who I could possibly find whose daily mini-updates would actually interest me. I tweeted a few times with a couple of hashtags (“Whattags?” I thought) in the hopes of finding others in my situation (never realizing I could find others using said hashtags). I gave up for a while returning to the comfort of Facebook and my real-life friends, coworkers, family and fellow high school graduates.

Only recently did I find out about BlogHer. I’ve read Free Range Lenore and If Mama Ain’t Happy both found through ParentDish (now Huffpost Parents), and followed both on Twitter which led to a few others. I noticed their massive amounts of followers and much smaller number of who they follow. I replied to some tweets and was never acknowledged. So many times I felt just as invisible as I do in my real life. So, as I saw them talking more and more about BlogHer11, I noticed this cute little hashtag: #HomeHer11.

I thought to myself: Now that sounds like something I could be a part of. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into! I opened a new tab in my browser with the search for #HomeHer11 in it and just jumped in. I noticed some witty remarks from some ladies and a few dudes and decided to try my hand. I gained four times the number of followers and followed twice as many “Tweeps” as I did before! I’ve discovered hundreds of blogs, links, and random internet fun this last week. I even secured a position in the HomeHer11 court (Poodle: Good at making Kitten [aka @MagandMoo] jealous) and a mention in someone else’s blog! Whaaat?!

More than networking, chatting and a pretty cool start-up score from Klout (40!), I found support. I found laughter (@NanyaDub), love (@sthrnfairytale), tears (@WhyIsDaddyCryin), mamas (@MayhemMatriarch), and dads (@MrMomWorld).

I’m so socially awkward and shy. I’m terrified of that horrible silence when I say something that I think is witty and apparently no one else does. In social settings, I blend in and try not to feel too bad. HomeHer11 gave me a bit of hope when I found people responding to my tweets and enjoying what I had to say.

As I’m sitting here, there are flashes of videos, pictures and blogs running through my head. All I can think about is the emotional connection that has been made. It’s been made between me and others that I chat with. It’s been made between me and people who don’t even know I exist. Knowing so many others go through the same things I do on a daily basis is enormously relieving. I’m having a hard time getting out what I want to say because I’m a little overwhelmed right now. Excuse me…

Pee break out of the way and now I’m armed with a big ol’ glass of sweet tea! Where was I…?

Sweetest HomeHer11 attendee!

Right, the sob fest. Honestly, as I was following the #HomeHer11 tweets I laughed and had an amazing time. Being new to the whole blogging world (only now forcing myself into regular updates), I never wanted/expected/thought about going to BlogHer11 so I’m not upset about not getting swag, not meeting “blogging celebrities,” and not attending parties and conferences and sessions. And anyway, I got to attend laundry parties, “Changing Diapers on a Screaming Toddler” and “Popcorn and Blogging” sessions and many more. I even got swag. Mary (@marybeauty) started a fun game called “Go Look Under the Washer and In Your Couch Cushions” to see what you could find. I got Oreo crumbs, a toy truck and even a nickel! I was feeling sick (still am, a bit) and stopped by the Medicine Cabinet booth (credit to Mary again for that one!) to snag some NyQuil. There was fun to be had by all, actual contests and new friends to be made. There are videos, even!

 

 #HomeHer (featuring @theaumsmama and @sixyearitch)

~and~

 HomeHer11 (@NanyaDub)

~and~

 HomeHer11 Welcomes Home BlogHer - Verseo.com Picture Contest (@marybeauty)

One year I’d like to attend BlogHer, even if only to say that I’ve gone and done that whole thing. I’d also love a chance to meet the fabulous folks I’ve been chatting with. (God bless social media, I must say.) For now, I am pleased and touched to be a part of something so large in its scope and reach: across numerous time zones and right into our hearts.

Thank you to everyone who replied, retweeted or silently enjoyed my contributions. Thank you for widening my world of Twitter and social media. Thank you for the laughs, the blogs, the pictures. Most of all, thank you for sharing your life, even the not so happy moments of fear and self-doubt. You give encouragement to so many, even if you don’t realize it. That weak moment gave others the courage to keep going because we find that we are not alone in our mistakes in life, parenting or whatever. That happy day gave hope to us in dark times and a chance to share our own happy memories.

HomeHer11 wasn’t just a pity party about who couldn’t or just didn’t go to BlogHer11. It was a connection of real people and it was wildly successful on so many levels. I hope that I’m able to touch lives the way mine was at HomeHer11.

See you at HomeHer12!

Think For Yourself: Why Book Banning Should Be Banned

I went to the local library in Utica, NY on Saturday to find something new to read. I’d been given a few suggestions on authors to check out and I was hoping I could find something to catch my interest. Oh, boy did I! My sister pointed to a small flyer in the bottom corner of the bulletin board and said, “Book banning? Really?” Out of utter disbelief, I stopped to read the flyer entitled, “Censorship? Banning Books? CAN A BOOK GO TOO FAR?” It went on to announce an open forum brought to you by the Utica Library in partnership with the Utica College to discuss banning American Psycho writtenby Bret Easton Ellis. “A literary classic or offensive trash? WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

Immediately I recalled a movie I’d seen starring Christian Bale called “American Psycho”. I had flashes of bloodstains, electric knives, and horrible 1980’s fashion. I had absolutely no idea this movie was a book! Then, in red and underlined I saw that those who signed up to attend would be given a FREE copy of the book. Whaaaat? Free? I love free! And it was a book to boot! So on the way out my sister signed up- who needs two copies?- and we immediately started discussing book banning.

Neither of us had read this book and my sister hadn’t even seen the movie but she immediately said, “No, it shouldn’t be banned! Learn to think for yourself, teach your kids the same and you wouldn’t need to call for banning books. Or movies or video games, for that matter.” Before sitting down to write this, I surfed around online trying to find some more information on this banning. I read somewhere that the movie was considered the next “FightClub.” Have you read that book by Chuck Palahniuk? Or any of his other books? He’s quite violent and freakish, but I’ve never heard of any of his books being banned. But I digress. (For the record, I’ve loved every single book by Chuck Palahniuk I’ve ever read.) 

American Psycho has been called, “… a how-to novel on the torture and dismemberment of women.” (Tammy Bruce, LA coordinator of the National Organization for Women.) Never mind the black homeless man he kills. Never mind the puppy. Never mind the other homeless man and his dog. Never mind the main character’s own white, male coworker. No, it’s nothing but a woman-hating book.

 This novel is the life and deteriorating psyche of a 1980’s Wall Street Yuppie. His life is nothing but surface. His life is money, designer clothes, women, drugs and expensive food and alcohol. The women are just as, if not more, superficial than the main character, Patrick Bateman and his “friends.” The author felt his life was empty and devoid of meaning and substance. He was angry at society and his life. Frustrated. So he wrote this book. He wrote a character that could do those horrible things we imagine in our blackest hearts (or imagine others are imagining)… Or could he? The book and the movie both leave you wondering if he really did all those horrible things or if he just imagined doing them, whiling away his time at the office.

 

Currently, I am more than halfway through reading the book. I’m so distracted by the descriptions of food, what everyone’s wearing and drinking that I can hardly keep interest in the gore that comes along. I am not more disgusted by the violence towards women than the violence toward everyone else. I’m equally horrified. I’m equally grossed-out by the blood whether it was spilled from a man, woman, child or animal.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I personally do not like the book, I think the movie as a horror/comedy flick is generally okay but I will most likely not be rereading or reviewing them any time soon. I still don’t think it should be banned. Banning a book is like killing someone because you don’t agree with their opinions. What happened to freedom of speech? Isn’t that the very First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States? Freedom of religion, speech, to peaceably assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. This book does not commit a crime and neither did the author. If you don’t like what it represents, then, by God, voice that opinion! You have that right! Teach your children the correct way to behave (“No, honey, we don’t slice open women’s vaginas and put rats in them. You be nice to the girls, okay?”) and when they come across such behavior in books or wherever, they will be dutifully shocked and horrified.

If you can teach your children that there is more to life than the price tag and a title, then they won’t end up like Patrick Bateman: barely holding onto their sanity and drowning in a life obsessed with what’s on the surface.

It is our job as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, care-givers, and lovers of children to teach them to love, be kind, strive for happiness and fairness. They need us to teach them the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want others to treat you. If they learn nothing else, that will guide them through life wonderfully.

If you can do your job as someone who raises a child, you will feel no need to ban books. Books are a gateway to entertainment, education, excitement, imagination. On the religious side, if you can help instill a strength of faith in your kids, then you have no fear of evil entering your child through external stimuli. I know that my faith is strong enough.

It’s hard enough for me to find peers nearing the end of their 20’s who like to read. Do you really want the next generation to avoid it altogether? I spent a great deal of my childhood reading and thanks to that, I feel quite confident of my spelling, grammar and vocabulary. Between grade school and middle school I read Of Mice and Men and Cannery Row by John Steinbeck, IT by Stephen King, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. In high school I read The Grapes of Wrath also by Steinbeck. In more recent years, I’ve read Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling, the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkein, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger. Did you know almost all of those books have been banned? At one time or another it was illegal to sell, buy or possess these books. The Color Purple is on that list as well. When I found the link I got more indignant as I went down the list. I’d already heard that in lieu of banning Huckleberry Finn, they just wanted to omit the “n-word” because it is a racial slur. It’s called vernacular. Look it up in the dictionary. That’s that giant book that tells you what every word in our language means. While you’re at it, please look up the words tolerant, peace, love and respect.

I am all for movie and TV show ratings. I am all about protecting children from things they are too young to be aware of. I am not, however, all about anyone telling me what I can and cannot read. Before you know it, you’ll be telling me what to watch, what to listen to, what to wear, what to eat and what to think.

 

If you have any doubts about overbearing censorship or book banning, I suggest you read one incredibly and insistently important book. Fahrenheit451 by Ray Bradbury gives us a glimpse into a world where books are not allowed. Where firemen do not put out fires, but start them in the homes of those found to possess books. It’s a short novel but timeless, thoughtful and slap-you-in-the-face honest.

Now I ask you: Do you agree that some books should be banned completely? Sold only to those over the age of 18? Do you think it starts a never ending crusade of socialism and communism? What do you think?