Today my son, Ick, and I went to my friend's son's 5th birthday party. My son is only 14 months old so he wasn't really part of the play group. Jeremy has known my son since before he was born. In fact, he's the one who christened him with the nickname "Ick" (from the TV show Little Bear). He really does love little Ick and Ick absolutely adores Jeremy like most small children do their older counterparts.
Now, my friend (Shaggy) is currently going through a divorce. So her party was mostly her family with only myself and her son's friend and his mom as unrelated guests. The party started at 2, but being her closest friend (and having helped stock up on party foods and such) I showed up around 1:45 with Ick in tow.
Jeremy is pretty close to this boy Caden he met at the Open House at his preschool the beginning of the last school year (2008). Shaggy had only met his mother 3 times but knowing he liked Caden she made sure they were invited. Apparently they showed up about 1:30.
Jeremy and his friend Caden were in the playroom messing around with all of Jeremy's toys. Caden was especially concerned with Jer's actual, child-size drum set and couldn't stop playing. It was very cute and Jer liked that he had something so few children had. However, whenever Jer tried to pull Caden away to do something they both could do, Caden would cheat or annoy Jeremy so he could go back to the drums. They played a fishing game (being Jeremy's game, he's played it 800 times) and Caden couldn't catcha ny fish and got upset and started pulling them out. Jeremy got upset and called him a cheater, so Caden got up and went over to Ick and took the ball he was holding, causing Ick to cry. Then got up to play the drums again.
No big deal, even though Ick is an abnormally happy baby. The loud drums had kind of rattled him and he was still adjusting to the relatively new environment. As more guests showed up, the two older boys were continuing to play in the playroom and Jer's bedroom with all the toys. Ick and I moved on to the living room where Shaggy had thoughtfully put out some of Jeremy's old baby toys so Ick would have something to play with.
More guests showed up including Shaggy's cousins ranging from age 5 to 18. The smaller kids got together to keep playing but Caden felt he had first dibs on every single thing because he was there first. He repeatedly took toys away from Ick and the other kids, broke pieces off Jeremy's toys only to throw the whole thing on the ground wherever he was standing, and pushed people to make his way to the toybox in the living room stepping on fingers and toes.
His mother? Hanging out in the kitchen eating. I only heard her say anything to him twice. This child was insanely greedy, pushy, and couldn't share or play nice if his next juice box depended on it.
When the time came to open presents, he helped himself to the gifts attempting to open them faster than Shaggy could pull them out to give to her son. She had to take one away from him to keep him from opening Jeremy's birthday present.
I know this boy is only 5, but when *I* was 5, I didn't act like that! Why has parenting become so lax? Why is it such a chore for mothers and fathers to teach their kids what sharing is and how to keep your hands to yourself? If it's not yours, you ask permission before you touch it.
Caden's mom was nice enough and I liked her alright. She was fun to talk to and lighthearted. But she was also wearing old sweatpants and an old t-shirt. No one says you wear your Sunday best to a child's birthday party, but couldn't you at least get out of your pajamas for it?
I was really taken aback by something that didn't seem to bother anyone else. Maybe I'm too uptight. I know you have to tell kids "Stop that!" 15 times before they even consider listening to you. But there comes a point when you hear 6 other adults say your child's name followed by, "Don't do that, that's not nice!" when you should think to yourself: "I need to go stop whatever he's doing, this is getting out of hand."
Maybe as Ick grows up I'll relax a little and let the little things go. But if your kid shows up at my son's birthday part and shoots others in the face with a nerf gun or takes toys away from others and won't play nice, you better expect him to spend a couple of minutes in the Time Out Chair. If you won't parent your kids at home, I'm more than happy to parent them while they are in my house!
