College At Any Age

After 10 years, I am finally returning to college. I'll be attending the local community college to begin a transfer Associates on my way to a Childhood Education degree. Most of my life I wanted to be a teacher. For a couple of years I thought about becoming a Pharmacist and while that still interests me (as does the salary), being a teacher calls to me. I've always loved school and I can't wait to go back. I'm only slightly disappointed that it'll be a couple of years before I start doing "teacher-y" things. :o)

I'm starting not in the fall but in the first summer term. It'll put me 20% through my 2yr degree with only 4 semesters left. Theoretically, I'll be done by the end of next summer. This is very, very exciting.

I am 28 years old. I'll be 10 years older than most of the students at the school, and I have a kid. It's going to be weird but I'm a firm believer in "It's never too late." I have a dream, a desire for more and my son as motivation to get it done.

For a long time I didn't go to school for a variety of excuses.
A slightly-more-than-minimum-wage job was plenty for just me.
I'd done the whole "work full time, school full time" thing before and it wore me down fast.
I don't have the time.
I have plenty of time I'm only 20-something.
I like having free time to do stuff with friends.

I'm sure there were more excuses and a lot of it was just plain not even thinking about my future. I'd applied to schools here and there in the many states I lived. Memphis, TN, Johnston County, NC, Utica, NY. It was only after my son was born that an urgency started to build. However, I still had excuses.
I don't have time to work, go to school and raise my son.
I don't have the money.
I'll fill out the paperwork another day.
I have to get booster shots? I don't have time to go do that.


Well, I've been unemployed (not counting a 1-day and a 5-day job) since August of last year. I have nothing but time! I filled out my FAFSA, my HESC application for NYS Tuition Assistance Program (TAP Award), applied to school, got my booster shots, and registered for summer classes.

According to the five seconds the guy at the Financial Aid office deigned to give me, my spring PELL Grand will be used for the summer term, but it should be fine since I'll be getting other aid.

I think I've said it like three times already, but I am so excited. I am finally taking a much-needed step in making a better life for Ick and me. It's so past due but definitely better late than never.

My short-term goal is to transfer to UNCC (University of North Carolina in Charlotte) to complete my 4 year degree so I'll be close to all kinds of my family, maternal and paternal. Yes there will be a custody fight (again) but I have a better chance this time. I'll be asking just for custody, not to move, and I'll be filing this month. *fingers crossed*

My long-term goal (if I happen to be unable to complete my short-term goal) is to complete my degree and move to NC near family. This year Utica cut 217 positions and raised taxes 2%. I've been told by many people that I absolutely will not find a teaching job anywhere near where I live. My response? A very cool, "I know. That's the point."

A blogger that I look up to said something about luck not being luck at all. It's about you being prepared for the opportunities that arise. Good "luck" means you're prepared and ready and you can take advantage of the opportunity. Bad "luck" means you haven't done what you need to do to take advantage. She's one smart cookie!

Not only am I prepared for school this upcoming term, but I'm ready to fight successfully for my baby boy. I pray for strength and guidance every day and I hope you'll say a little one for me as well.

Is there something you've wanted but haven't prepared for? What's stopping you? Do you think you'll try harder to achieve your goals?

If it's school, don't feel like you're too old. Starting over in a new career or life path is always scary and challenging, but that doesn't have to stop you. If you want it, you can do it. Believe in yourself even if no one else does. Just remember, I believe in you, too.

Note: I know it's been months since I've posted and I have no excuses. Thanks for sticking around and continuing to read.

The Start of Something New

Today, March 21^st, I started a diet: the Atkins Diet. If you want more information, please visit the Atkins website as I will not be addressing any issues or misunderstandings you may have about this diet. I will be addressing my personal struggle to lose weight and keep it off for my health and for a better life for my little family.

I am starting in “Induction” where I am limited to 20 carbs per day. Today I only had about 11 total carbs. That includes my breakfast, snack, drinks and dinner. I did not have lunch today only because of the timing of my day. Between falling asleep on the couch and the nap I took (yup, both, lol), there wasn’t time for lunch, but the snack did just fine. What did I eat? Well, sausage, eggs with cheese, fresh tomatoes for breakfast. Snack was cheese cubes and a couple of pickles. Dinner was meatloaf (with a bit of ketchup and cheese on top) and green beans. I drank coffee, tea (both with Splenda), Powerade Zero (mmm so good) and Diet Sunkist.

Don’t worry; these posts about my battle with weight loss will not be a food diary! I have one for my personal use and will not be boring the general public with a list of foods. However, sometimes I will absolutely list what I’m eating as a way to help you understand what Atkins is all about. Also, it’ll help in understanding my effort.

First off I need to admit something. I love junk. Chips, chocolate, bread, pasta… I could go on. When I’m at work, I eat candy and chips like it’s my last day on earth. Sesame crackers, Ritz crackers, Cheez-Its, they all are great snacks to grab a handful and head off to another task. But, since they are loaded with sodium, empty carbs and calories, they are terrible for my body and my metabolism. Luckily, there are snacks that are available at my job that are in line with Atkins. Also, after the first few weeks, I can enjoy some sugar free candy! My favorite part about this diet is that I don’t have to do without the treats that make a woman’s stressful days a little easier.

I went on Atkins once before and lost about 25 pounds in two months. It was great! There was a noticeable difference in my face and my stomach. My shirts and pants fit better and looked better! This time, however, I will not be “taking a break” since that’s what killed the diet last time. I went on vacation and when I came back, I never went back on Atkins. One thing that has stuck with me, however, is since then I have only drunk diet sodas (for the most part). I actually prefer Diet Dr Pepper, Diet Sunkist, Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Root Beer, in that order, to any other sodas. So that's at least one thing I won't have to change.

Like a lot of women who don’t feel comfortable in their own bodies, I feel awkward and ungraceful. I have gained weight since I was pregnant and after I had my son, did not lose any of it, but instead gained it back. Right now I weigh about what I did when I was 9 months pregnant and waiting to pop any day. I am much clumsier than I used to be and my body is feeling the strain.

When I have a long day at work, it’s not just my feet that hurt. One of my knees has started complaining and I have sciatica which has led to a heel spur in turn causing plantar fasciitis. By the end of the day, I can barely stand the 7 minute drive from work to my house because of my back and feet. A huge goal of mine in this endeavor is to feel better. Plain and simple, I want to stop the aches and pains that come with too much weight on a body’s frame.

At this point in my life, I realize that if I wait much longer, it will be harder to lose weight. I would like to enter my 30s as a happier, healthier and more comfortable me. I look forward to my mini goals (like my friend’s summer wedding in June and the day I realize I have more energy) and my ultimate goal which is to lose 165 to 185 pounds. The window is large (no pun intended) because when I get close to my goal weight, it won’t be a number, it’ll be how I look that determines when to adjust my carb intake.

You are not a number. Neither am I. We are not defined by our age, generation or weight. Do not let anyone label you against your will. You define who you are. I define myself. I am losing weight because it’s what I want and I truly believe that it will make me happier. I also believe it will make me healthier and that is something that is priceless when compared to what it will mean to quality time with my son and other family. I stand by what I’ve said before: There is no greater love than improving yourself for the betterment of your family and yourself.