Freedom of Speech (Or Lack Thereof)

I work in a drugstore. A major chain with stores in Puerto Rico and all 50 states. I love my company, I really like my job and I'm heading to school to complete a Doctorate in Pharmacy so that I can become a pharmacist in a company that is, frankly, awe-inspiring in it's size, breadth and mission.

We have heard and read many stories about people losing their jobs for things they have said online or pictures they have posted (however legal and of age they may be). Between blogs, Facebook and Twitter, many of us live our lives quite publicly. I post things on Facebook while off the clock about my day at work (during lunch or after I'm done for the day) because I'm annoyed and want affirmation that I'm right to feel annoyed or because I'm happy and something fun or funny happened. Sometimes, I just want to complain about how tired I am and how much I just want to go home and spend time with my little man, Ick.

I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "You better be careful about what you write! You're gonna get caught and you're gonna get fired! I'm just looking out for you, but you better be careful." I don't know about you, but that sounds like a very thinly veiled threat!

Like most people, I have my employer listed as well as my position and current city, so it wouldn't be too hard to find out where I work, therefore who to call and complain to about yours truly. However, UN-like lots of people, I know how to use those wonderful things called "Privacy Settings!" Non-friends and 'friends of friends' cannot see anything other than my name and profile picture. In fact, my profile doesn't even come up in a search result. My Facebook page is just that: mine. It is my outlet, my place to play games, somewhere to vent and somewhere to keep up with people from many different times of my life.

I also recently started using Twitter again, mostly talking about my baby boy, but occasionally talking about work.

My issue and the point of this post is that regardless of my privacy settings, what I say on those sites and this one is  my business. I do not slander anyone, much less my employer. I do not name names, I do not reveal company secrets or blab out HIPAA protected information. I do not post pictures of drunken antics (I don't have any) or drug-induced idiocy (I don't do any of that, either). I have a freedom granted to me by this great nation to say how I feel, to express my distaste with anyone and anything as long as I'm not spreading vicious lies. And out of respect, I'm never viciously mean or hurtful no matter how I'm treated (please see this post).

If my job is ever jeopardized because of something I say online that I have tried hard to keep private, or because of something I have said in a not-so-private setting and is therefore censored and toned-down, you can bet your ass I'll be calling the National Labor Relations Board. I am an upstanding, law-abiding and responsible adult and contributor to society.

Because of this, I do have a right to vent my frustrations about my company, coworkers and management. Because of my respect for people's feelings and reputations and for following the rules, my First Amendment right to free speech is guaranteed and there is no gray area here. For those people using swear words and naming the people who make them mad and say hurtful things are opening themselves up for consequences "up to and including termination." Use some common-sense judgement when you decide to post about your job, that's all there is to it.

This post is seeming to ramble with no particular point, but my point is this: The First Amendment is first for a reason: We are a democracy. Each individual has a voice. How are we supposed to "Keep Moving Forward" (thank you, Walt Disney) and bettering ourselves, our nation and our businesses if no one can say what is wrong with it? The easy answer is: We can't.

It Takes a Village... Apparently

Today my son, Ick, and I went to my friend's son's 5th birthday party. My son is only 14 months old so he wasn't really part of the play group. Jeremy has known my son since before he was born. In fact, he's the one who christened him with the nickname "Ick" (from the TV show Little Bear). He really does love little Ick and Ick absolutely adores Jeremy like most small children do their older counterparts.

Now, my friend (Shaggy) is currently going through a divorce. So her party was mostly her family with only myself and her son's friend and his mom as unrelated guests. The party started at 2, but being her closest friend (and having helped stock up on party foods and such) I showed up around 1:45 with Ick in tow.

Jeremy is pretty close to this boy Caden he met at the Open House at his preschool the beginning of the last school year (2008). Shaggy had only met his mother 3 times but knowing he liked Caden she made sure they were invited. Apparently they showed up about 1:30.

Jeremy and his friend Caden were in the playroom messing around with all of Jeremy's toys. Caden was especially concerned with Jer's actual, child-size drum set and couldn't stop playing. It was very cute and Jer liked that he had something so few children had. However, whenever Jer tried to pull Caden away to do something they both could do, Caden would cheat or annoy Jeremy so he could go back to the drums. They played a fishing game (being Jeremy's game, he's played it 800 times) and Caden couldn't catcha ny fish and got upset and started pulling them out. Jeremy got upset and called him a cheater, so Caden got up and went over to Ick and took the ball he was holding, causing Ick to cry. Then got up to play the drums again.

No big deal, even though Ick is an abnormally happy baby. The loud drums had kind of rattled him and he was still adjusting to the relatively new environment. As more guests showed up, the two older boys were continuing to play in the playroom and Jer's bedroom with all the toys. Ick and I moved on to the living room where Shaggy had thoughtfully put out some of Jeremy's old baby toys so Ick would have something to play with.

More guests showed up including Shaggy's cousins ranging from age 5 to 18. The smaller kids got together to keep playing but Caden felt he had first dibs on every single thing because he was there first. He repeatedly took toys away from Ick and the other kids, broke pieces off Jeremy's toys only to throw the whole thing on the ground wherever he was standing, and pushed people to make his way to the toybox in the living room stepping on fingers and toes.

His mother? Hanging out in the kitchen eating. I only heard her say anything to him twice. This child was insanely greedy, pushy, and couldn't share or play nice if his next juice box depended on it.

When the time came to open presents, he helped himself to the gifts attempting to open them faster than Shaggy could pull them out to give to her son. She had to take one away from him to keep him from opening Jeremy's birthday present.

I know this boy is only 5, but when *I* was 5, I didn't act like that! Why has parenting become so lax? Why is it such a chore for mothers and fathers to teach their kids what sharing is and how to keep your hands to yourself? If it's not yours, you ask permission before you touch it.

Caden's mom was nice enough and I liked her alright. She was fun to talk to and lighthearted. But she was also wearing old sweatpants and an old t-shirt. No one says you wear your Sunday best to a child's birthday party, but couldn't you at least get out of your pajamas for it?

I was really taken aback by something that didn't seem to bother anyone else. Maybe I'm too uptight. I know you have to tell kids "Stop that!" 15 times before they even consider listening to you. But there comes a point when you hear 6 other adults say your child's name followed by, "Don't do that, that's not nice!" when you should think to yourself: "I need to go stop whatever he's doing, this is getting out of hand."

Maybe as Ick grows up I'll relax a little and let the little things go. But if your kid shows up at my son's birthday part and shoots others in the face with a nerf gun or takes toys away from others and won't play nice, you better expect him to spend a couple of minutes in the Time Out Chair. If you won't parent your kids at home, I'm more than happy to parent them while they are in my house!