HomeHer11: Acceptance At Last

Note of warning: I imbedded a lot of links. I hope you'll click on them as they lead to wonderful blogs and their amazing authors. I hope you enjoy the videos as much as I did! I did, however, refrain myself from linking everyone's Twitter account to their usernames. You'll just have to find them yourself!
 

Just over a year ago, I joined Twitter with the name @MamaPoodle. Just for fun, just to see who would follow me and who I could possibly find whose daily mini-updates would actually interest me. I tweeted a few times with a couple of hashtags (“Whattags?” I thought) in the hopes of finding others in my situation (never realizing I could find others using said hashtags). I gave up for a while returning to the comfort of Facebook and my real-life friends, coworkers, family and fellow high school graduates.

Only recently did I find out about BlogHer. I’ve read Free Range Lenore and If Mama Ain’t Happy both found through ParentDish (now Huffpost Parents), and followed both on Twitter which led to a few others. I noticed their massive amounts of followers and much smaller number of who they follow. I replied to some tweets and was never acknowledged. So many times I felt just as invisible as I do in my real life. So, as I saw them talking more and more about BlogHer11, I noticed this cute little hashtag: #HomeHer11.

I thought to myself: Now that sounds like something I could be a part of. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into! I opened a new tab in my browser with the search for #HomeHer11 in it and just jumped in. I noticed some witty remarks from some ladies and a few dudes and decided to try my hand. I gained four times the number of followers and followed twice as many “Tweeps” as I did before! I’ve discovered hundreds of blogs, links, and random internet fun this last week. I even secured a position in the HomeHer11 court (Poodle: Good at making Kitten [aka @MagandMoo] jealous) and a mention in someone else’s blog! Whaaat?!

More than networking, chatting and a pretty cool start-up score from Klout (40!), I found support. I found laughter (@NanyaDub), love (@sthrnfairytale), tears (@WhyIsDaddyCryin), mamas (@MayhemMatriarch), and dads (@MrMomWorld).

I’m so socially awkward and shy. I’m terrified of that horrible silence when I say something that I think is witty and apparently no one else does. In social settings, I blend in and try not to feel too bad. HomeHer11 gave me a bit of hope when I found people responding to my tweets and enjoying what I had to say.

As I’m sitting here, there are flashes of videos, pictures and blogs running through my head. All I can think about is the emotional connection that has been made. It’s been made between me and others that I chat with. It’s been made between me and people who don’t even know I exist. Knowing so many others go through the same things I do on a daily basis is enormously relieving. I’m having a hard time getting out what I want to say because I’m a little overwhelmed right now. Excuse me…

Pee break out of the way and now I’m armed with a big ol’ glass of sweet tea! Where was I…?

Sweetest HomeHer11 attendee!

Right, the sob fest. Honestly, as I was following the #HomeHer11 tweets I laughed and had an amazing time. Being new to the whole blogging world (only now forcing myself into regular updates), I never wanted/expected/thought about going to BlogHer11 so I’m not upset about not getting swag, not meeting “blogging celebrities,” and not attending parties and conferences and sessions. And anyway, I got to attend laundry parties, “Changing Diapers on a Screaming Toddler” and “Popcorn and Blogging” sessions and many more. I even got swag. Mary (@marybeauty) started a fun game called “Go Look Under the Washer and In Your Couch Cushions” to see what you could find. I got Oreo crumbs, a toy truck and even a nickel! I was feeling sick (still am, a bit) and stopped by the Medicine Cabinet booth (credit to Mary again for that one!) to snag some NyQuil. There was fun to be had by all, actual contests and new friends to be made. There are videos, even!

 

 #HomeHer (featuring @theaumsmama and @sixyearitch)

~and~

 HomeHer11 (@NanyaDub)

~and~

 HomeHer11 Welcomes Home BlogHer - Verseo.com Picture Contest (@marybeauty)

One year I’d like to attend BlogHer, even if only to say that I’ve gone and done that whole thing. I’d also love a chance to meet the fabulous folks I’ve been chatting with. (God bless social media, I must say.) For now, I am pleased and touched to be a part of something so large in its scope and reach: across numerous time zones and right into our hearts.

Thank you to everyone who replied, retweeted or silently enjoyed my contributions. Thank you for widening my world of Twitter and social media. Thank you for the laughs, the blogs, the pictures. Most of all, thank you for sharing your life, even the not so happy moments of fear and self-doubt. You give encouragement to so many, even if you don’t realize it. That weak moment gave others the courage to keep going because we find that we are not alone in our mistakes in life, parenting or whatever. That happy day gave hope to us in dark times and a chance to share our own happy memories.

HomeHer11 wasn’t just a pity party about who couldn’t or just didn’t go to BlogHer11. It was a connection of real people and it was wildly successful on so many levels. I hope that I’m able to touch lives the way mine was at HomeHer11.

See you at HomeHer12!

Freedom of Speech (Or Lack Thereof)

I work in a drugstore. A major chain with stores in Puerto Rico and all 50 states. I love my company, I really like my job and I'm heading to school to complete a Doctorate in Pharmacy so that I can become a pharmacist in a company that is, frankly, awe-inspiring in it's size, breadth and mission.

We have heard and read many stories about people losing their jobs for things they have said online or pictures they have posted (however legal and of age they may be). Between blogs, Facebook and Twitter, many of us live our lives quite publicly. I post things on Facebook while off the clock about my day at work (during lunch or after I'm done for the day) because I'm annoyed and want affirmation that I'm right to feel annoyed or because I'm happy and something fun or funny happened. Sometimes, I just want to complain about how tired I am and how much I just want to go home and spend time with my little man, Ick.

I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "You better be careful about what you write! You're gonna get caught and you're gonna get fired! I'm just looking out for you, but you better be careful." I don't know about you, but that sounds like a very thinly veiled threat!

Like most people, I have my employer listed as well as my position and current city, so it wouldn't be too hard to find out where I work, therefore who to call and complain to about yours truly. However, UN-like lots of people, I know how to use those wonderful things called "Privacy Settings!" Non-friends and 'friends of friends' cannot see anything other than my name and profile picture. In fact, my profile doesn't even come up in a search result. My Facebook page is just that: mine. It is my outlet, my place to play games, somewhere to vent and somewhere to keep up with people from many different times of my life.

I also recently started using Twitter again, mostly talking about my baby boy, but occasionally talking about work.

My issue and the point of this post is that regardless of my privacy settings, what I say on those sites and this one is  my business. I do not slander anyone, much less my employer. I do not name names, I do not reveal company secrets or blab out HIPAA protected information. I do not post pictures of drunken antics (I don't have any) or drug-induced idiocy (I don't do any of that, either). I have a freedom granted to me by this great nation to say how I feel, to express my distaste with anyone and anything as long as I'm not spreading vicious lies. And out of respect, I'm never viciously mean or hurtful no matter how I'm treated (please see this post).

If my job is ever jeopardized because of something I say online that I have tried hard to keep private, or because of something I have said in a not-so-private setting and is therefore censored and toned-down, you can bet your ass I'll be calling the National Labor Relations Board. I am an upstanding, law-abiding and responsible adult and contributor to society.

Because of this, I do have a right to vent my frustrations about my company, coworkers and management. Because of my respect for people's feelings and reputations and for following the rules, my First Amendment right to free speech is guaranteed and there is no gray area here. For those people using swear words and naming the people who make them mad and say hurtful things are opening themselves up for consequences "up to and including termination." Use some common-sense judgement when you decide to post about your job, that's all there is to it.

This post is seeming to ramble with no particular point, but my point is this: The First Amendment is first for a reason: We are a democracy. Each individual has a voice. How are we supposed to "Keep Moving Forward" (thank you, Walt Disney) and bettering ourselves, our nation and our businesses if no one can say what is wrong with it? The easy answer is: We can't.