Like the Plague...

I don't mean to avoid writing...

I've been in school for almost a full 365 days. I started taking classes last May in the summer semester and have just now completed the spring semester.

For a year I tried to keep up this blog. For a year I thought I could do it all: school, Mom, blog, house, and everything else that goes along with those, but it's become clear that I can't.

Now that I have time, there's this irrational fear of writing anything. I find good topics all the time. I have ideas constantly. But the moment I sit at my computer, it's 100% avoidance of anything real. I play FB games, watch episodes of Kitchen Nightmares and Grey's Anatomy.

I don't know what I'm afraid of or why I seem to have given up. I hope I can break through this weird self-imposed block soon.

In the meantime, thanks so much for sticking around. You're so sweet.

College, Work, Birthday and Life...

Life is very full these days. I'm not complaining because I love it. I'm in school where I belong and pursuing a degree I've wanted almost my whole life. I'm taking 6 classes and 4 are online. Those 4 require a large amount of reading, studying and writing. My education class on campus is a lot of reading, classroom observations of a 3rd grade class and long term projects. I've applied to 4 jobs at school as part of the work study program, too. So I'll have 18 hours of classes, 15 hours a week to work, my son, my family and my home. That's a lot!

But I'm doing well and for that I'm grateful. I'm also proud because I've been working very hard and I've been invited to join the Honors Society once I complete this semester. My next goal is to make the President's List. Honors Society is a GPA of 3.5 or more and 12 or more credit hours and the President's List is a GPA of 3.75 or more and 12 or more credit hours. My GPA is a 3.7.

I know what I want and what my family needs and I'm working on it.

I turned 29 today. :o) This is the last age I'll ever be. Starting next year I will be celebrating anniversaries of my 29th birthday. My best friend Shaggy says I have to at least celebrate "Dirty 30," but I can't make her understand that I won't be turning 30. I'll be celebrating the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. I'm only half kidding. When I was a teenager I thought people being "ashamed" of their age was ridiculous and I still do. At this point in my life, I'm sad that I'm so close to 30 and there are so many things I  haven't accomplished.

But I'm not ashamed. I've earned the candles on my cake and I won't be afraid to tell people exactly how old I am.

That doesn't mean I can't joke about it.

I feel my life coming together slowly but at least I can feel it. I've never felt it before and I have to tell you: It's magical. To envision a goal and watch it unfold at my hands and because of my own hard work is glorious.

You know what else is glorious? The sound of my son singing. He can't carry a tune in a bucket, but he's getting better. He knows about 5 songs and I love having him sing to me. Tonight he "read" me his 5 Wishing Stars book. He managed to tell a story about each page and as I watched his face I kept in mind every blog post I'd ever read about vanishing moments and our babies growing up. He looked so serious telling me about the sheep and what they were wishing for before they went to sleep. His sweet baby voice didn't make me sad or nostalgic. I did what some people wish they had done more of.

I watched him, listened intently and basked in the glow of the boy he's growing into. I was fully present with him in bed as the light from the kitchen shined on his face and he imagined flocks of sheep at night making wishes on stars.

My life is full. I'm tired, stressed out, frustrated, short on time and money but I'm happy. I don't mean to slack off in the blogging department, especially after I wanted to try so hard to write twice a week, but sometimes, life happens.

Today is the first of October. Today is my birthday. Today is fall. Today my son sang me Happy Birthday. Today I scored higher than all my classmates on a test. Today I celebrated my life and myself and it was beautiful.

Hello, October, my old friend. I'm so glad to see Fall is with you. Please stay a while. Linger over coffee on the porch while we watch the rain. Don't leave too soon like the years before. The colors of your garments bring me peace and warmth.

New Week, New Experiences

     So this is just an attempt a new post subject akin to Thirsty Thursday, Wordless Wednesday and the like. On Sundays I'd like to try to do a short post about the new things coming up in the week that's just about to start. Because this is the first and I'd like to share what new things I've been up to, here's a short list:

     -Poetry group on GoodReads: I joined a couple of weeks ago. I haven't shared any poetry yet, but I'm anxious to!

     -COLLEGE! I started my second semester of college last Monday and I'm really excited about it. I'm taking 18 hours this semester including my very first education class! Week after this one I'll be contacting a school in my area for observation of a classroom! YIPE!

      -Potty training. No, not me, I've been doing that for years now. Hah! Ick is learning the joys of using the potty: Treats for 1, a present for 2. He still shies away from doing 2 on the toilet, but I'm not worried. He really wants to go to school with me (we have a daycare!) so he's trying really hard.

     -Ick's 3rd birthday was Saturday the 25th! It started out horrendous but got infinitely better after nap time. I hope he starts to grow out of his screaming stage soon.

      -This blog. I've put up a new template, a new description and a new determination to get stuff written at least once a week.

     I know that today I've posted twice but both posts were pertinent and well, I came up with this idea less than an hour after posting about my font issues. I think it's a pretty cool idea. Not only can you talk about what new things are coming up, but you can talk about the new experiences from the past week that you didn't know were going to happen! Kind of like a review and then a preview. I know, genius, right?

     Well, I can't wait to see what new stuff is coming not just in my own life, but yours too! What's coming up this week that's new for you or your family?

Coming Soon...

That sounds like something exciting is coming, doesn't it? Well, it is! Okay, it already started for me, but I'm excited to share my new experiences with you. However, I'm a little swamped with all this college homework, baby! I'll be getting down to the business of blogging, or at least the writing part of blogging, later on tonight or this week. I also plan on getting one done every single week. It should slide nicely into my scheduled homework time. If I can't write, I will definitely still do a post but it'll probably just be a few pictures. Think of it as a Wordless Wednesday, but not on Wednesdays. I'm difficult like that.

Quick note: Ick's 3rd birthday is Saturday! I'm so excited for it! This is the first year that he's excited for it, too! He keeps talking about the birthday presents and birthday cake that he's going to get. That makes it a gajillion times more fun for me.

So I hope you'll keep reading. I know I have a poor track record and erratic posts, but stick with me, folks.

Fall is just around the corner.